Last year our first Christmas decoration was a mustard seed. A lowly mustard seed. Taped on a sheet of white paper to the centre of our mantelpiece. It was a sign and a symbol of the fragile and tiny hope I had of celebrating Christmas. The hope was fragile and it was tiny because I did not "feel" like Christmas last year. How could I sing the Lord's song in the strange land of Grief?
It was the first Sunday in Advent and my husband and I were having our usual leisurely coffee brunch after all the duties of the morning and the noonhour. Two church services and the important weekly phone calls to my father and other family members were behind us for another week. My husband, rather gingerly, brought up the subject of Christmas knowing that I was immersed in the full bloom of grief. Mom had died on Labour Day and this was the first Christmas to be marked without her. I did not "feel" like Christmas.
Despite my fog of misery, I knew that I was being somewhat self-absorbed in my pain. Life was going on all about me but, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how I was going to get through this time. Everybody busy and happy and having parties and family gatherings. I shrank inside. The thought of smiling and pretending joy was beyond pain for me. What was I going to do?
I remembered the reading from Romans that morning, "The night is far gone, the day is near....let us put on the armour of light....put on the Lord Jesus Christ" The season celebrating His birth and looking for His coming again was upon me and I was being called to participate. But it was beyond me to rejoice. As I said these things to my husband, he reminded me that God IS able even if I was not. He mentioned the parable of the mustard seed to me. God could take that little mustard seed and make of it something worthy. God could take that tiny seed of faith and grow it into a kingdom of hope.
I felt as if I had been touched. I got up and went to the kitchen and rifled through my spices. Yes! There it was. My bottle of mustard seeds. I got one out and grabbed a piece of paper from the pad by our phone and taped that mustard seed to the centre. I returned to the dining room, waving the paper triumphantly. "I've got it! I've got it! I CAN celebrate this year." My husband said, "Here, let's put it up on the mantel. It'll be our first Christmas decoration." Up it went. Every time I looked at it, I was reminded of the hope it symbolized and the faith it embodied. I couldn't do it on my own. But God could. And God did!
The mustard seed became a powerful witness in our house last year. Many people asked about it and it became a growing joy to share what it meant. The mustard seed again graces our mantelpiece to symbolize Light in the darkness, hope in the face of grief and despair and faith in the promises of God. My prayer is that, in the midst of difficult times, you will find hope; that a mustard-seed Christmas may be yours.
L'Chaim, Charlene
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Mustard Seed Christmas
Charlene Fairchild of the site A Holy Christmas shares a beautiful story about her Mustard Seed Christmas. Enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
December 8, 2007 - Fairchild’s story about her “Mustard Seed Christmas” brought back a memory of mustard seed necklaces worn by my friends as an outward reminder of the importance of faith. I remember being fascinated by the single tiny seed inside a small, round, clear plastic ball dangling from a thin ribbon or chain and wondered how faith that tiny could sprout and grow large enough to make anything possible. Two years ago today, life as I knew it changed forever. Faith brought my family and me through a terrifying experience. The mustard seed story was true. As in Fairchild’s story, she wondered how she could possibly get through advent grieving the absence of her mother, this Christmas, the season for joy, hope, peace, and love, is a challenge for me as well. Now that I am strong enough to face the truth, I find myself grieving the permanence of many losses resulting from that fateful day two years ago. Reading this story was a timely reminder that with God, all things are
possible.
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20 (NIV)
Post a Comment